I say I’m sorry when I’ve done something I feel bad about and sometimes I say I’m sorry even when I’ve not done anything wrong. Some would say I say it too often but, I’m ok with that. It’s me and I feel good about knowing that others in my life understand that I feel bad for a situation regardless of if it is my fault or not.
But there is a phrase that is very popular with kids, teens and adults alike that absolutely infuriates me. “My Bad”.
I’m not talking about when someone says it in a conversation where you may point out an error in their statement. Like…. “It rained yesterday”…”actually…that was the day before.” “Oh yeah, you’re right. My bad”. But, when someone has actually made a mistake that affects another person or has hurt someone, I have a real issue with the response being, “My bad”.
I made a business call with an issue that had taken me roughly an hour to track down and figure out not only who to call, but what the real issue was. After 20 minutes on the phone and too many words to count, the person on the other end realized they had made the mistake, causing all the work that had gone into figuring it out. Her response to me upon the realization was….”Oh…my bad”.
Now, I’m ok with mistakes. Really. I get it. We are human and prone to them on occasion. But just own up to them. “I’m sorry….I totally botched that”, or “I’m sorry, that was my error” would have received the response of….”No worries. Glad we got it worked out”. Instead I hung up the phone feeling like the hour I had used to figure it out was unappreciated and devalued. I find the whole idea of ”my bad” disrespectful.
I absolutely detest those two words said together. I actually cringe when I hear them. They seem disingenuous and trite. They give the impression that the one saying them is neither contrite nor engaged. They make me feel like the person I’m talking to couldn’t care less about whatever it is we are talking about, nor are they willing to take any responsibility for it.
I know it’s a popular phrase, but maybe before those words escape again, we might consider whether or not the one hearing them will actually felt heard or just blown off. Because I’m sorry….and “My bad” are definitely not the same.